Just a Northern Girl

Smell’m

The other day, I was standing next to a very handsome man about my age who is a funeral director in town. Dressed as if he should be carrying a Tommy gun, he was making polite small talk with me and a few older ladies that I was standing near. Every so often, someone would walk by and the current generated from that motion would waft the smell of the most amazing cologne I have ever laid nose on. Not everyone could be wearing the same cologne, so I deduced, because I am a Sherlock that way, that the fine-looking funeral director was what smelled so good.

He smelled so delicious, I had to restrain myself from taking a bite out of his arm. I am not kidding. It was a mix of smells that made me think of spring: a freshwater pond, freshly cut grass, newly turned earth. And then something minty, like spearmint gum only not as sugary. Very ‘fresh from the shower’ smelling, it was, and it about sent me silly. (And no, it was not “Irish Spring” soap. Sheesh.)

Feigning the vapors crossed my mind, with the hope that he would offer me his (I was hoping, cologne-drenched) handkerchief, which was carefully tucked into his zoot suit pocket. I am not much of an actress, nor do I seem the Scarlet type, so I didn’t chance it. Besides, how would I explain to The Boy a strange, obsessive attachment to another man’s smelly handkerchief?

So tell me: How does a married woman, in the presence of old biddies who can manufacture an adulterous scandal out of a sideways glance, ask a single, handsome man what cologne he is wearing?

But then, how does a married woman, without the presence of old biddies et al, ask a single, handsome man what cologne he is wearing without sounding sluttish, stalker-ish or “Glen Close-ish” a la Fatal Attraction?

Just curious. I live in a very small town and the median age is frightfully high. I am going to run into him again.

Labels: just curious

posted by Northern_Girl @ 9:21 PM