Left to my own devices
Yesterday afternoon, Banana went to work, Muffin went to Grandma’s and The Boy went to Big Town for “hunting supplies” (which is a manly way of saying he went shopping with his buddies).I was left home alone with a shit-pile of work, what was left of laundry not completed the day before, a fridge full of Diet Coke and a pack of Marlboro's. Usually, this means I get a lot done, including making something for supper in a crock-pot.
Usually.
Usually, when left alone…I can concentrate. I can be productive. I can catch up.
I could not keep a thought in my head that was coherent from start to finish. I kept wandering off mentally mid-sentence – somewhere with my camera – to drift through the woods, to lounge on a lawn and stare at the clouds, to follow the railroad tracks across fields and over trestle bridges, to stand next to a deep and fast-moving river.
I’d look away from the computer screen for 10 seconds and come back 30 minutes later when I’d suddenly realize I’m not standing on a steep and sandy embankment of the Missouri River or listening to the rustle of a hawk’s wings catching a wind current. I’m not feeling the warmth of the setting sun on my face or smelling the earthy smell of yellow leaves swirling on a river. I’m not breathing in the cooling evening air or watching walleyes nibble at the water’s surface.
The evening mist is not rising out of the prairie landscape. I only imagined leaves in my hair and sand on my hands.
The cursor blink-blink-blinks.
A stormy, cold Sunday afternoon t-bones beautiful daydreams and crashes me back to being alone with too much to do.
Today’s Shuffle:
“Cheap and Cheerful” by The Kills
“Drift off to Dream” by Travis Tritt
“These Boots” by Eric Church
“Legend of a Cowgirl” by Imani Coppola
“Plaisir d’Amour” by Charlotte Church
“Angel of Broken Hearts” by Jason Michael Carroll
Labels: change, observation
