I have to tell you I’m a little miffed. That’s WASP-ish for “pissed the hell off, damn it.”
I don’t want to talk about why, so I’m going to change the subject.
My oldest daughter’s play opened last night. It was horrible.
Banana was amazing, brilliant even.
She’s my kid and I’m bias, right? Well, yes she is my kid and of course I’m going to tell her she’s phenomenal and all that, but she was. She really was. I would have thought that even if she wasn’t my daughter.
She was the only shining star in the entire production, unless you count the set - which was incredible in an ingenious sort of “how the hell did they think of THAT” kind of way. Sitting in the audience waiting for the play to start I was awed by the cleverness of the design and admired the skill required and how much construction went into the damn thing. And that was probably part of the reason why the play sucked. I set my expectations too high.
But why did it suck? The topic. The writing. Most of the acting. The whole beat-that-dead-horse-named-“Cliche” a few more times. It was about a perfect little teenage homecoming queen who has to go on meds for an allergy and the meds cause her to gain weight, and whaa-whaa-shove a stick in my eye, complete with perfectionist parents and “Mean Girls” for friends. They did the whole teenage behind the back “Have you seen the WHALE yet?” and “SHE’S HUGE!” and the “back up beeper” complete with sniggering. I’m sitting in the audience cringing because this is an After School Special with a lesson to be learned about self-respect and loving oneself and all that shit.
I should be a little forgiving. If the audience (meaning me) had been different - say, an assembly at a junior high, the play would have rocked the house. I expected different (meaning more sophisticated) from a college/university acting troupe.
Banana, however, was fabulous. She was the narrator/advice columnist - all hipster and cool and jaw-droppingly stunning wearing a costume she designed herself from her own damn closet. She was funny and deliberately sarcastic and got the most laughs by timing her delivery perfectly. She impressed the hell out of me…and I’m not easily impressed with acting/actors.
I guess after watching this group deliver “As You Like It” the year before and "Little Shop of Horrors" last fall, I’m more than a little let down.
But I am considering getting my kid an agent. Emma Stone has nothing on my girl.