1. I am a natural blond.
2. No, I won’t “prove” it to you.
3. My eyes are blue.
4. I’m married.
5. He farms with his family.
6. We live in the middle of a large, rectangular, sparsely-populated state.
7. We have two daughters.
8. I like to write.
9. But I love to read.
10. I really love movies.
11. Sometimes, I’ll combine #’s 8, 9 and 10 and write about movies and then read what I wrote (and wonder what I was on and where I can get some more).
12. I can’t carry a tune to save my life.
13. My fingernails grow like nobody’s business.
14. I’ve been to Thailand.
15. Margaret Atwood is probably my favorite author.
16. Ms. Atwood and I are ‘friends’ on Twitter. (Or at least we are in my head. Stop judging me.)
17. I was an athlete in high school.
18. While in high school, I was also every character stereotype in “The Breakfast Club” including the Judd Nelson character.
19. I taught myself to crochet (with just a little help from my mother-in-law to get started).
20. I hate snow.
21. I love to snow ski.
22. I am conflicted. Apparently. (See #’s 20 and 21)
23. I took 12 years of piano lessons.
24. Don’t ask me to play anything, because I suck at it.
25. I played the clarinet in my high school marching band.
26. I sucked at that, too.
27. I was once elected president of a college sorority.
28. While in sorority, I learned women should not congregate in groups larger than two.
29. My parents let me try waterskiing when I was 6 (mostly so I would shut the hell up about wanting to water ski, already…yeah…that kind of backfired on them).
30. I enjoy driving in large cities.
31. Small town driving makes me bonkers.
32. I don’t tan easily.
33. But when I do tan, I really like the color my skin becomes.
34. As opposed to the fish-belly white I usually am.
35. I have an English degree.
36. I have a history degree.
37. The state of North Dakota gave me a license to teach English and history to high school students.
38. I gave it back.
39. I have a medical transcription degree I’ve never used.
40. I have an addiction to Diet Coke. There. I said it.
41. I’m a terrible cook.
42. Outside of North Dakota, I think Georgia is my most favorite state.
43. If I could live anywhere, it would be in Mexico.
44. On a beach, of course.
45. I think pedicures are silly.
46. Making lists organizes my head.
47. I saw Kathleen Madigan live in concert.
48. I can imagine myself working as a writer for TV or movies. Or as a writer for Bill Maher.
49. That will never happen.
50. National Lampoon’s Animal House is probably my favorite movie.
51. Also, The Blues Brothers.
52. And anything with Bruce Willis, Johnny Knoxville, Alexander Skarsgard, Travis Fimmel…I have a long list of favorite actors.
53. When I hand-write notes, I use white copier paper or grid paper and Bic pens (blue, of course).
54. I’m a compulsive doodler.
55. I own a very expensive Nikon camera with fancy lenses.
56. I usually take pictures with my phone, however. It is a convenience thing.
57. I’m a night owl.
58. Mornings are very painful for me.
59. I get migraine headaches occasionally.
60. My husband and children believe “migraine” is code for “faking it” until I throw up out the car window.
61. I dislike reality TV.
62. I have enough “reality” in my real life, thanks.
63. I refuse to watch commercials.
64. (Unless someone tells me one is funny. Then I look it up online so I know what people are laughing about.)
65. I subscribe to Sirius/XM Radio to avoid commercials.
66. And radio announcers. I hate radio announcers.
67. You couldn’t pay me to have a baby at this stage in my life.
68. I sometimes believe I am undiagnosed ADD.
69. My favorite car is…the one I’m driving now.
70. I Google myself on a regular basis.
71. My Google results are yawn inspiring.
72. I own 50% of a business.
73. Being your own boss is scary as hell.
74. But it means I can wear jeans and sneakers to work and be in compliance with ‘company policy’ (because there isn’t one).
75. But it also means I own 50% of the debt in the business.
76. Told you being your own boss is scary as hell.
77. I stand firmly on the “Dark Chocolate” team.
78. We used to own horses.
79. Regrettably, we have cats on the premises.
80. We have a Silver Lab named Smoke.
81. I named him myself.
82. I obsess about my weight.
83. But I don’t do anything about it, really.
84. I am always in need of a haircut.
85. If I am awake, my sunglasses are on my face or on top of my head.
86. Summer is my favorite season.
87. I will shovel out horse stalls before I will go fishing.
88. If you are my friend and require my physical presence more than once a year, we won’t be friends for very long.
89. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a weather girl on TV.
90. What I wanted to do was draw the isobars and partly-cloudy sunshine images on the map and talk about what days were good for picnics and baseball games.
91. (I will clean a hotel’s worth of bathrooms before I will go to a baseball game.)
92. But then, in Grade 8 Math, we studied a unit on weather math (air pressure and graphing or some such rot) and my brain exploded.
93. Also computers kind of made the clouds and sunshine drawings obsolete. (Oh, Dewey Bergquist, how I miss your weather talks at 6 and 10pm.)
94. I now obsessively follow The Weather Channel.
95. So my dream changed.
96. I dreamed of being an astrologer.
97. What I wanted to do was write the horoscopes for the newspapers but I got the distinct impression from my parents that aspiring to be an astrologer wasn’t the best idea, so instead of admitting I wanted to be an astrologer, I told people I wanted to be a writer.
98. I still tell people that I want to be a writer.
99. And then blogging came about and flaming anyone could publish their shit, so I thought, “Hey. Go for it.”
100. I started this blog on July 6, 2005.